Email

Remember when I mentioned the college emails? well, this one is--without a doubt--my favorite.


From Ohio State University:

Feeling the love?
This is the time of year when college-bound students find themselves on the receiving end of high praise and deep hyperbole from colleges and universities. You, no doubt, have a lot to read. So in short:
It's entirely possible that you are the brightest student ever.
The Ohio State University just might be the finest institution of higher education on the planet.
Seems we should learn more about each other. Tell us about you at *their email*.

Yes. 

I love the internet (part 3)

3. The Anti-Joke Chicken (& anti-jokes in general): Gets me every time... 

Knock Knock!

Come in.

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "What'll it be?" And the duck doesn't say anything because it's a duck.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park. 

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?

Nothing.

How do you make a plumber cry? 

Kill his family.

Knock Knock. 

Who's there?

To. 

To who?

To whom.

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint. 

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 

The Holocaust.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? 

He was hit by a bus.

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear. 

Yo' momma's so fat, she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? 

We are both lawyers.

& my personal favorite: 

What's green and has four wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels. 

I love the internet. (part 2)

2. First Grade Problems: All that is good about "First World Problems", but with an added adorable bonus (And, at times, a slightly depressing relatability despite the supposed 10-year age difference...)

I love the internet (part 1)

There are only nine days left in January, and that means there are only nine days left of mandatory every-day posting. Thank goodness, because I'm running out of things to say...

So I'm going to give you a lovely sampling of some of my favorite things from the internet.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. First World Problems: This Oreo is missing the cream and the other cookie! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS?! (<--true story.)

^^(the third video curses at 3:20, so, if your're not cool with that, don't listen...)

There are so many amazing first world problems that it'd be impossible for me to try to pick favorites.
Instead, I give you this:
... Anndddd this.




And these: 

 ( one of my own personal first world problem moments )

( for Emmie (^_^) )

second graders say . . .

As many of you may already know, I've been helping teach the second grade sunday school class at my church. I got so lucky. Second grade is by far the best age of kids to work with. They're old enough to comprehend most things, but still young enough to say absolutely amazing, adorable, and hilarious things.

~~~~~

On this particular weekend, the middle-schoolers were away on a trip with the youth group. The leader asked the young Sunday Schoolers if they had any older siblings, and if they knew what they were doing this weekend. One child produced the answer:

"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the war in Canada."

~~~~~

While playing a game similar to a watered-down version of charades, one guess at the identity of an actor was:

 "Are you Michael Jackson?!"

The correct answer was sandwich.

~~~~~

While learning about John the Baptist, it was mentioned that John spent time in the wilderness. One of the teachers posed the question: "Why do you think John came back from the wilderness?" One child posed the explanation:

"He ran out of cream cheese."

In the Cold, Cold Night - Cover of the White Stripes

Remember when I told you I was going to try to record that White Stripes cover, but my parents told me to be quiet?

Well, I tried again.

However......... I accidentally only recorded video... No sound.......




But I do look good. http://myfacewhen.com/9/




So I made you a video collage of my failure. Enjoy.
(I hope you like the faces I make whenever I mess up.)

( To make the silence less awkward, I recommend playing this in the background. That's what it would've sounded like... )

Oh, and since you can't actually hear me: I sounded awesome. It's such a bummer that it didn't record correctly...

possibly the best thing I've ever seen?

I know what I'm doing the next time I visit my grandparents...

Who wants to be my prom date? Now accepting applications . . .

( This blog post may be uninteresting to you at first, but I encourage you to keep going because it really does get better. . . The real post is at the end. I won't judge you too much if you just skip to it. )

I'd like you all to know that I chose not to write anything to post the past 4 days.

" But, Megan, choosing to be lazy doesn't make you any less lazy . . . In fact. . . it kind of makes you more lazy . . . "

Yeah, well. . . "shut up". 

Anyway . . . 

I bought a prom dress yesterday. It's quite pretty. I like it a lot. Yep. 

I was going to post a picture of it, but I think I'd rather just let you all live in suspense instead .

Anyway, I bought a prom dress, and then I realized I didn't have a prom date. hmmmmmm . . . 

I'll be attending two different proms. The prom for my own school and the prom for the school district in which I live. I wouldn't be at all surprised if my prom turns out to be a non-date prom. I mean, I'd be open to a date, but it's probably not the type of prom where you have to have a date and are expected to . . . 

The prom for my district, however, I will need a date for. 1) It is the kind of prom where you're expected to have a date; and 2) I'm not a student there, so I'm not really supposed to be there in the first place and therefore must be someone's outside date or they will make me stand outside alone . . .

So, I'll need a date. But not just anyone will do. I'm quite picky. So, I've made an application. I wish you all the best of luck.

Link to PDF [the application itself is the main part of the post, so DO read it...] :
Prom Date Application

Geological Time Scale Worksheet

I bet Mrs. Appleby had a fun time grading this paper.
:)

Links to better quality images:

geological time scale 1 (1).jpg

geological time scale 2 (1).jpg

I think on a scale of...

So, I totally stole this from my friend Emmie:
Nyesh Nyesh Indeed: I Think on a Scale from -1 to Cat

When I saw that post from her, I loved it. It also, however, made me realize that my own spectrum of thought made about as much sense as hers did.

So, I've decided to make for you all, my own rating system.

Anything to the left of "6", would be similar to a normal person's negative numbers. Anything to the right of "6", would be similar to positive numbers.
... I've got mixed feelings about the number 6...
I don't trust it.


I have been known to answer the question "How was your day?", with "yummy".

merp

So, um. I must move around a lot when i sleep...

A True Story:

So, um.
Today.
In the car.
Emmie and I were sitting there talking as we usually do on the car ride home (mostly nonsense of course).
And suddenly.
I had a panic attack.


Because I felt that I had forgotten my ears.
So I checked.
And they were still there.
I sighed, relieved.



And Emmie looked at me like I was nuts.
(A look that I'm quite used to.)

I explained to her matter-of-factly:
"I thought that I had forgotten my ears.
But it's okay.
Because I didn't."
I then pointed to my ears.

Emmie continued to look at me.
In a sort of worried way.

It took me a minute to realize that none of what I had just said had made any sense at all.

The Llamacorn

I created something today. I think it's pretty brilliant.

It is... 

Pretty awesome. I know. 










So, how did this magnificent creature come to be?


Well, on the way to school today, we hit a lot of traffic (which then caused us to be late... but anyway). As we were sitting there. Crawling along the highway, Maddie was just talking away. She was telling Emmie and I about her dream car. Her description went something like this: 

It's a GIANT 6 wheeled pristine white truck. On the side where an ad would usually go, there will be a huge mural of llamas and butterflies [naturally, because everyone knows that llamas and butterflies are in a symbiotic relationship]. The interior has to be REALLY BRIGHT white. And the wheels are "all big and manly".

She then paused for a minute. Somehow, this description did not satisfy her. The llamas and butterflies simply weren't enough. Finally, she added: 

"And I have to have a pet llamacorn riding with his head out the window and his tongue flapping in the wind." 

At that moment, I felt as though my soul had just exploded. 

(because my soul is actually made of rainbow confetti)

This was the most brilliant thing I had ever heard. 


I immediately pulled out my sketchbook and created the llamacorn.



(yeah. I know its the same picture)








So, you may now be wondering what exactly this creature would be like. Well, I'm here to explain that to you as well. 






The Llamacorn
( pronounced: yä'   mə   kôrn )


While llamacorns are very versatile creatures, and would be able to withstand nearly any environment, their only natural habitat is a small, remote island in South America. 

As for their diet, the llamacorn will eat pretty much anything available to it. 

Llamacorns are ... they ... well ... their minds are very ... innocent. 
... okay. they're dumber than rocks. 


I believe that their personality is capture very well by my original drawing's facial expression. There is little variation in facial expression between the different emotions of the llamacorn (though it can truly only comprehend a few emotions anyway).

Llamacorns can make great household pets. You cat even teach a llamacorn tricks!









Though try not to overestimate your llamacorn's ability to perform more complex tricks. It could be hazardous to their frail little minds. 

                            "did i win?"

The llamacorn's simple-minded nature causes it to be a peaceful, kind creature. There isn't a mean bone in its body. While it may not be very good at showing its emotions and feelings, be assured that deep down the llamacorn loves you too. 

<3

A special thanks to Maddie. You're a genius. :)